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Looking like a beaten out willow twig on Sukkes

Between ritualized gluttony, ritualized fasting, hours and hours of ritual prayer and almost as many hours of trying to sleep in a Succah (often preceded by even more hours of ritual cursing while trying to build the Succah), the average observant Jew looks and feels vi an opgeshlogene heshayne, a beat-out willow twig, by the […]

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Go talk to the wall

Gey, red tsu der vant, “Go, talk to the wall”—Israelis and their enemies alike seem to feel misrepresented by one or another sector of the media, who are toyb vi di vant, “deaf as the wall,” to their particular point of view. The Yiddish wall does so much more than keep the insides of buildings […]

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The kosher meat industry sheds crocodile tears

Should the federal grand jury currently investigating possible anti-trust violations on the part of certain unnamed kosher meat suppliers uncover evidence of unkosher business practice, I’ll bet dollars to dales—that’s Yiddish for poverty—that we’ll soon see more than one representative of the firms in question weeping tsibele trern, “onion tears,” and adopting a yires-shomayim peniml, […]

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Hakn a tshaynik about the holidays

With Jewish New Year cards on display all over town and Halloween candies clogging supermarket aisles, there’s no question that the holiday season is already upon us. From six weeks before Rosh Hashana all the way to Memorial Day, tshatshkeh-makers and greeting-card companies hak us an endless tshaynik—bang us an endless tea kettle—about holidays that […]

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The Pre-Rosh Hashanah shnor season

Now that the warm weather has finally arrived and Jews who lead traditional lives have embarked on the Three Weeks of mourning that precede Tisha b’Ov, the Ninth of Av, the day when both Temples were destroyed, the pre-Rosh Hashana shnor-season is nearly upon us.

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Advice for Mel Gibson

Vos bay a nikhtern af der lung iz bay a shikern af der tsung, “What’s in a sober person’s lung is on the drunk one’s tongue”: people who have had too much to drink don’t know which of their thoughts should remain unspoken. Just ask Mel Gibson

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